ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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