You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
