what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize