Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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