Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
