your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
