So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
