The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
