he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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