so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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