she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
