i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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