If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This toilet bowl is my home.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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