I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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