is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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