Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
