Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.