Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it