Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.

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  (775): soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class. http://tfl.nu/nig5
  Replies (73) Good night (857) Bad night (13177)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex

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  (336): and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex http://tfl.nu/hs2b
  Replies (23) Good night (6547) Bad night (1170)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.

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  (810): I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio. http://tfl.nu/bxp9
  Replies (10) Good night (984) Bad night (3006)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.

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  (847): she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay. http://tfl.nu/cwvk
  Replies (4) Good night (805) Bad night (3046)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone

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  (+27): You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone http://tfl.nu/np51
  Replies (3) Good night (1906) Bad night (864)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap

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  (587): Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap http://tfl.nu/qxhg
  Replies (10) Good night (3129) Bad night (977)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution

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  (406): just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution http://tfl.nu/z6cd
  Replies (10) Good night (1233) Bad night (873)
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  (831): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.

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  (831): I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger. http://tfl.nu/whys
  Replies (7) Good night (1206) Bad night (633)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy

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  (970): Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy http://tfl.nu/dxdl
  Replies (7) Good night (2498) Bad night (535)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.

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  (709): He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes. http://tfl.nu/6yst
  Replies (6) Good night (676) Bad night (834)
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  (530): View more from California

  I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.

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  (530): I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone. http://tfl.nu/lhn9
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (572)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?

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  (915): I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like? http://tfl.nu/163q
  Replies (5) Good night (395) Bad night (858)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.

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  (615): I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher. http://tfl.nu/1rku
  Replies (4) Good night (490) Bad night (566)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit

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  (561): Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit http://tfl.nu/ek73
  Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (281)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  He told me how it ended, then I blew him.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??

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  (281): He told me how it ended, then I blew him. (303): So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him?? http://tfl.nu/u71s
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (439)

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