You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
