My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.