Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter

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(609): View more from New Jersey

The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.

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(734): View more from Michigan

operation "beaches make me wet" is a go

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside

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(905): View more from Ontario

I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

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(510): View more from California

How is your new roommate working out

(415): View more from California

We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.

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(618): View more from Illinois

The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.

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