She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit