Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes

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(919): View more from North Carolina

bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

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(616): View more from Michigan

I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(606): View more from Kentucky

how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY

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(859): View more from Kentucky

The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.

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(707): View more from California

I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.

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