Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me