Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

I hate ducks.

(916): View more from California

What?

(916): View more from California

they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.

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(916): I hate ducks. (916): What? (916): they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck. http://tfl.nu/gesm

Replies (55) Good night (3475) Bad night (803)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job

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(856): Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job http://tfl.nu/pld4

Replies (19) Good night (1221) Bad night (4238)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?

(1-314): View more from Missouri

God gave us a 4 year grace period.

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(314): Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college? (1-314): God gave us a 4 year grace period. http://tfl.nu/2ues

Replies (29) Good night (3945) Bad night (1194)
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(254): View more from Texas

she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.

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(254): she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared. http://tfl.nu/cseo

Replies (9) Good night (3109) Bad night (1005)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.

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(614): Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok. http://tfl.nu/bya3

Replies (6) Good night (1683) Bad night (770)
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(703): View more from Virginia

screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.

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(703): screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko. http://tfl.nu/s10e

Replies (4) Good night (2874) Bad night (1155)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for

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(540): Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for http://tfl.nu/c110

Replies (8) Good night (2163) Bad night (547)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Wait

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(617): I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship (617): Wait http://tfl.nu/k9zo

Replies (5) Good night (2632) Bad night (1049)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.

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(423): Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows. http://tfl.nu/mbnt

Replies (11) Good night (1788) Bad night (657)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.

(440): View more from Ohio

The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.

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(440): Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions. (440): The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America. http://tfl.nu/cnoq

Replies (14) Good night (1619) Bad night (609)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.

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(615): I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample. http://tfl.nu/ndxy

Replies (4) Good night (830) Bad night (532)
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(937): View more from Ohio

whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had

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(937): whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had http://tfl.nu/mht2

Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (320)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.

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(832): I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway. http://tfl.nu/6mtf

Replies (2) Good night (407) Bad night (526)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.

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(952): So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child. http://tfl.nu/9pky

Replies (0) Good night (781) Bad night (229)
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(469): View more from Texas

The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"

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(469): The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party" http://tfl.nu/vn3r

Replies (0) Good night (778) Bad night (225)

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