i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"