I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
