Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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