I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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