the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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