Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
