I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize