Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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