Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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