Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
