So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
