I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
