I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
