You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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I take back everything I said about communal showers
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
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Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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