Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
