Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
