Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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