if you like me you must not know who I am
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
