You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
