I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
