Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
