Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
