its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
