she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She announced her abortion via fbk
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
