I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
