And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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