They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
