Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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