Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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