belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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