Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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