Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
