Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Farmville is her only friend.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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