dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
