she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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