Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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