I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
