I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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