i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
