8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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