dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
