weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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