I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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