Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
