let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's a Shit stain on my heart
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
