i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
